Juliet and Romeo
by Anneboleyn320
Summary: a parody of romeo and juliet...this is a work in progress, but it will be amusing!
1. Prologue

Hello every one. A friend of mine and I are going to work on a parody/new version of Shakespear's Romeo and Juliet. So far, I've only done the prologue; hope it's not too pitiful! (And don't worry; it is going to be fixed. I just wanted to put something out there!)

c1 is the chorus member who recites the correct prologue.

chorus enters

c1: Two houses, both alike in dignity…

c2: you mean they both have their snooty rich noses stuck up in the air at the same height…

c3: stop interrupting!

C1:flustered In fair Verona, where we do lay our scene…

C2: yeah, I've been to Verona. What a nice vacation spot!

C3:glares at C2 no, silly, Verona is where the play takes place!

C1: From ancient grudge break new mutiny…

C2: those people are fighting again? How long can they keep bickering? rolls eyes

C1: Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean…

C3:shakes head and sighs the whole town is a part of the fighting…

C2: when will these people learn already?

C1: From forth the fatal loins of these two foes…looks around, realizes that he is not going to be interrupted, and smiles A pair of star-crossed lovers take their lives…gets caught up in the moment and sighs dreamily

C3: those poor kids…it was all in the hands of fate…

C2: the bozos didn't have to kill themselves though…

C1: Whose misadventure piteous overthrows, Doth with their death bury their parent's strife

C2: whats with this? Only their death could get their parents to stop fighting? Lemme at 'em….glares around audience

C1: the fearful passage of their death-marked love, and the continuance of their parent's rage, which, but their children's end, nought could remove,

C2: LEMME AT 'EM! Those…those….only their children's death could stop the fighting? I don't believe it.

C3: adults trying to lay the blame on their children…I'm ashamed!

C1: is now the two hour's traffic of our stage;

C2: TWO HOURS? I'm not sitting two hours for your play!

C1: the which if you with patient ears attend, what here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.

C2: oh that's nice. If we weren't listening, its going to take 2 hours to re-tell it? goes of grumbling

C3: enjoy the show!

**chorus exits**


	2. Act 1, Scene 1, part 1

Hi again. This scene is so funny by itself, I'm not making too many changes. (just explaining the humor, so you can understand it!)

ACT 1 SCENE 1(lines 1-70)

Sampson: Gregory, on my word, we'll not carry coals

Gregory: No, because then we would be coal carriers.

S: that's not what I mean! I mean, we'll not take insults! And, we'll draw our swords to those who insult us.

G: yes, while you live, draw your neck over the hangman's noose, you slow-witted half brain.

S: I strike quickly, being moved.

Chorus: he means that if someone insults him, he is quick to strike back

G: but, you are not easily moved to strike.

S: a Montague moves me!

G: to move is to stir, and ti be valliant is to stand. Therefore, if you are "moved", you run away.

S: A Montague shall 'move' me to stand! I will take the wall of any man or maid of Montagues.

culture break in Elizabethan times, garbage and human waste were disposed of by tossing it out the window, and into the middle of the street. Nobility and people of higher classes were given the privilege of walking closest to the walls, so they wouldn't step in the filth or have it accidentally thrown on them. This is also why men would walk on the outside, and women closest to the wall. When Sampson says that he will "take the wall", he is saying that he is better than the Montagues end culture break

G: that shows you are a weak slave, for the weakest go to the wall.

S: 'tis true, and therefore, I will push Montague's men from the wall, and thrust his maids to the wall.

G: the quarrel is between our masters and us their men.

S: every one is involved in this fight. When I have fought with the men, I will be cruel with the maids; I will cut off their heads.

G: the heads of the maids:

S: yes, the heads of the maids, or their maiden-heads.

culture break maiden-head is a term for virginity. So by "cutting off their maiden-heads", it is implying rape.

S: they shall feel me, and it is known that I am a pretty piece of flesh.

G: Quick, draw your weapon, here comes two of the house of Montague

enter Abraham and Balthasar

S: my weapon is out. If you fight, I will back you.

G: How? Turn your back and run?

S: of course not! Let the baw be on our sides, and let them start the fight.

G: I will make a face at them as I pass by them, and they can take it as they please.

S: No, as they dare! I will bite my thumb at them, which is disgrace to them, if they can take it.

culture break 'biting your thumb' is a rude gesture

Abraham: Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

S: I do bite my thumb, sir.

A: Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

S: to Gregory would we be the cause of the fight if I say yes?

G: yes.

S. No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I do bite my thumb, sir.

G: do you quarrel, sir?

A: quarrel, sir? No, sir.

S: but if you do, sir, I am ready to fight you, sir. My master is as good as yours.

A: no better than mine.

S: well, sir.

enter Benvolio

G: spots Tybalt to Sampson say "better", here comes one of my master's family

S: sir, my master is BETTER than yours, sir.

A: you lie!

S: fight, if you are a man.

A: in a high pitched voice I'm a real boy!

they fight

Benvolio: Part, you fools! Put down your swords, you don't know what you're doing.

enter Tybalt

Tybalt: what, are your swords drawn amongst you cowardly animals? Come, Benvolio, look upon your death.

B: I do but keep the peace. Put down your sword, or use it to help me stop this fight

T: what, we have our swords, and you talk of peace? I hate the word, as I hate Hell, all Montagues, and you. Have at thee, coward!

they fight


End file.
